Secrets
by trueloveforever
Summary: Lily has a secret. James will do almost anything to get lily to go out with him. Does Lily's secret have anything to do with why she won't go out with James? AN: NOT an eating disorder fic
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, excpet the plot and that character Sam.

Summary: Lily Evans has a secret. James will do anything to have Lily as a grilfriend., what will he have to do to find out why she won't go out with him.

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Lily Evans and her best friend at Hogwarts were sitting in the great hall eating breakfast. Lily was just staring at the food around her. 

"Lily you have to eat." Sam said.

"I'm not very hungry."

"How can you not be hungry, you have been barley eating." It was true as it was Lily would just nibble at her food.

"I'm not in the mood to eat; too much is going on right now." Lily told her friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm okay really." Lily could tell that Sam knew that she was lying. But being the good friend that she is, she didn't question her. Lily was keeping secrets and Sam knew it. Lily knew that she should have told her friends about what was going on, but she didn't want her to feel sorry for her.

Just then James Potter and his friends came up behind the two girls. "Mind if we sit here?" asked James pointing to the seats next to the girls.

"Not at all," Sam replied. Sam, who had a crush in Sirius, took any chance she could, that allowed her to spend time with him.

Lily gave her friend a look that said you'll pay later. James, or as Lily called him Potter, was known as a trouble maker. And his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were his partners in crime. Ever since their second year at Hogwarts James kept asking Lily out. Every time she turned him down. Now in their sixth year, he was just as persistent. But he seemed to be kinder.

"Lily how come you're not eating?" Remus asked.

"I'm not very hungry," she replied. Out of all of James's friends Remus was the one she liked the most. He was the only one that she trusted.

"Evans, you have to eat, today's the first quidditch match and we're playing Hufflepuff. You need all your strength, so that you can cheer me on." James told her.

"In your dreams Potter." Lily replied. "Besides I'm not going to the match anyways." They all looked at her, shocked.

"And why not?" Sam asked her.

"Because I'm not allowed…I need to finish a paper for charms." Luckily she caught herself before she told the real reason.

"Evans we don't have a…Ouch why did you hit me Sirius?"

"Because Prongs you had better get down to the field, the match is about to start." Sirius told James.

With a last look at Lily they all left the Great Hall. Sirius had his arm and Sam. Lily wasn't surprised. James gave her one last look and then left.

Lily decided that she might as well go to the common room, since she wasn't going to eat.

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclamier: All of this belong to J.K Rowling except the plot and th character Sam.

Authors Note: This chapter is in Jame's point of view. As the story goes on it will be easier to understand if one chapter is in Lily's POV and the next one in James POV.

Thanks for the Reviews!

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James's POV

James and his three best friends were heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast. When they walked in James said, "Lets go sit with Lily and Sam."

"Prongs, Evans is not going to go out with you just because you sit next to her." Remus told him.

"I know that, but Padfoot here has a crush on her best friend Sam."

"I do not." Sirius replied.

"We've seen the way you stare at her in Potions." Remus told him. The boys walked over to the two girls. James walked up behind and asked, ""Mind if we sit here?" pointing to the seats by them.

"Not at all," Sam replied. Sirius sat next to Sam, James sat next to Lily and Remus and Peter sat across from them. Lily turned to look at Sam and gave her the death glare.

Sirius and Sam talked and the rest of them were eating. Except for Lily. James was about to ask her why she wasn't eating when Remus said, "Lily how come you're not eating?"

Lily replied, "I'm not very hungry."

James loved to come up with remarks especially about Evans said, "Evans, you have to eat, today's the first quidditch match and we're playing Hufflepuff. You need all your strength, so that you can cheer me on."

Lily replied by saying, "In your dreams Potter. Besides I'm not going to the match anyways." James looked at her shocked, when he looked at the rest of them, they had shocked expressions too.

Sam turned toward her and asked, "And why not?"

"Because I'm not allowed…I need to finish a paper for charms." Lily answered quickly. She then looked away.

That's funny, thought James, we don't have a paper for Charms. He was in the middle of telling her this when Sirius hit him. "Ouch why did you hit me Sirius?"

"Because Prongs you had better get down to the field, the match is about to start." Sirius told James.

They all got up to leave, except Lily. When they were walking out of the hall James looked at Lily one last time, she seemed to be really worried about something. He was going to ask Sam about it but she and Sirius seemed busy.

He would have to ask her about it later.

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Review Please!


	3. Chapter 3

Diclaimer: I do not own anything!

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Lily's POV

Gryffindor had won the Quidditch match. Lily was upset that she wasn't allowed to go. She knew that it was for the best though. She wanted to tell her friends the real reason but she just couldn't, not yet at least. The person she wanted to tell most of all was James.

There was a party in the common room that night. Lily didn't go though. She didn't feel like going, and she didn't want anyone to ask her why she wasn't at the match. Sam came up every once in awhile asking if she wanted something to eat or wanted to talk. Lily told her no that she was fine. She really wasn't hungry, but she was lying about the being fine part.

The Next Day

It was their last class of the day. They had potions with the Slytherins. They were making a potion to cure boils. Lily and Sam were working together. Actually Lily was doing most of the work because Sam and Sirius were passing note. Sirius was behind them working with James. Lily felt someone watching her so she turned around, it was James. When their eyes met, James turned back to his work, not before Lily could see that in his eyes he looked worried. Lilt turned back around and kept working.

Lily was adding some beetle eyes to her potion when the dungeon door opened. A second year by the name of Jane walked in. "Professor Slughorn, Professor McGonagall needs to speak to Lily Evans."

Lily paled as she said this. "Alright, you can finish your potion when you get back, Ms. Evans." Professor Slughorn told her.

"Uhh Professor, Lily needs to take her things because she will be gone for the rest of the time."

"Fine, go ahead Lily." Lily felt the rest of the color drain from her face. She gathered her things and turned to leave the room. James eyes meet hers but she looked away quickly. As she left the dungeon all that Lily could think was "_Not again, please don't let it of happened again."_

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Cliffhanger! I'll update as soon as I can! Reviews will make it happen faster though(hint, hint!)

Reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Unfortunalty, I own nothing of this

Authors note: Sorry it took so long to update, Schol's almost out so I've been busy. I hope to update faster.

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James POV

Gryffindor had won the quidditch match. The Gyrffindors were all celebrating their victory. James had caught the snitch and won the game. But all through the party James looked for Lily. He couldn't find her anywhere. So he went to her best friend.

"Sam, where's Lily?"

"She's up in her room, she says that she doesn't feel like being at a party tonight."

"Oh, ummm have you noticed anything strange about her?"

"Yeah, I have, I keep asking her what's wrong, but she keeps saying nothing. I'm really worried but she won't talk to me."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'll talk to you later Sam." James walked away. Lily was hiding something and James wanted to know what it was.

When the party finally started to die down, James went upstairs to sleep. As he was waiting for sleep to come, a plan to get Lily to talk was forming in his mind.

The Next Day

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus walked in to Potions their last class of the day. James and Sirius took their seats behind Lily and Sam. Today they were working on a potion to cure boils. As James started the potion Sirius began passing notes to Sam. James got distracted and started staring at Lily.

_She so beautiful, I wonder what's bothering her though. I wish she could see how worried we are about her,_ he thought. She turned around and looked James in the eyes. He looked for a moment and then turned back to his work.

They were about half way through class when a second year walked in to the class. "Professor Slughorn, Professor McGonagall needs to speak to Lily Evans." James could see that Lily had paled when she said this.

"Alright, you can finish your potion when you get back, Ms. Evans." Professor Slughorn told Lily.

Jane replied by saying, "Uhh Professor, Lily needs to take her things because she will be gone for the rest of the time."

"Fine, go ahead Lily." Professor Slughorn told her. Lily looked like a ghost as she gathered her things. As she was walking towards the door her eyes meet James's. She looked away quickly, but James could tell she was terrified.

James turned to Sirius and said, "Tell Moony and Wormtail that I have to talk to you guys. Meet me in the room of requirements after dinner."

The Room of Requirements 

"Okay, I know that you guys are really getting tired of helping me get Lily to like me, but I have one final plan and plus we're also gonna find out what secret she's keeping."

"Alright so what's your plan Prongs?" Remus asked.

"I'm glad you asked, because your have a big part in it. Lily trusts you the most out of all of us, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Remus replied.

"So she'd probably tell you almost anything. So here's my plan. Friday night, Lily reads in the common room."

"Stalker." Sirius coughed. James ignored him

"Remus is going to go down to the common room and sit next to her. He'll start talking to her and then bring up me. He'll ask her why she doesn't like me and then she'll probably tell him. Now knowing Remus and the good friend that he is he probably won't tell me the whole truth because Lily will tell him not to. So to get the whole story I will be sitting by them under the invisibility cloak."

"And what if I don't agree to this plan?" Remus asked.

"Then I will be forced to tell everybody about that summer at my house, you know the one that I'm talking about."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I so would." James told him.

"Fine, I'll do it. But if Lily finds out, I'm blaming it all on you."

Friday Night

The boys were up in their dormitory. James had barely seen Lily all week, and he was hoping that she would be in the common room alone. James took the cloak out of his trunk and put it on.

He turned towards Remus and said, "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Remus replied.

James and Remus left the room and made their way down to the common room. When they got their no one was there except Lily who was reading by the fire. Remus walked over to her and sat down. James sat on the arm rest of one of the cairs.

"Hi, Lily" Remus said. She looked up, and James could see that she had been crying.

"Oh, hi Remus."

"Listen, Lily can we talk?"

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Please review, tell me what you think, it means a lot to me!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Unfortunatly I own nothing

Authors Note: Sorry it took to long to update, but i've been busy. This chapter is were everything will make sense. Enjoy!

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Friday Night

Lily sat by the fire in the common room all alone. She had a book with her but she wasn't reading. She just stared at the page before her. She couldn't concentrate on the words. She thought of what Professor McGonagall had told her. She didn't want to remember but Lily couldn't help it. Tears fell from her eyes before she could stop them. More came but she quickly wiped them away_. Thank goodness no one is here to see me cry, she thought._

Someone sat down next to her and she looked up. It was Remus.

"Hi, Lily" Remus said.

She replied by saying "Oh, hi Remus."

"Listen, Lily can we talk?" he asked.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked. Lily was afraid he would ask about her red, blotchy face or why she had been missing classes so much.

"I want to talk about you."

"Umm, okay what do you want to know?" She asked cautiously.

"Lily, you know you can trust me. I care about you. Can you please tell me what's going on? And don't tell me nothing, because something is happening."

Lily sighed. She knew someone would ask her sooner or later. She trusted Remus though. "What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Why won't you go out with James?"

She paused before answering, should she lie or tell the truth, she chose the first. "I will not go out with Potter because he is a big-headed, prat."

"That's a lie Lily, and you know it. I see how you look at him when he not looking. Just for a moment you eyes say otherwise. You like him; I know you do so tell me the real reason."

Lily knew that she couldn't lie her way out of this one. So she decided to tell Remus everything. "Remus, if I tell you everything, will you promise not to tell anyone. I trust you, so please don't tell anyone. Especially not James."

Remus looked worried for a second but then said, "Alright."

"Okay, so the truth is that I really do like James, but nobody can know. I've been trying to convince myself that I hate him, but I just can't. I can't let anyone know because then someone else would get hurt because of me. I can't let that happen not again."

"Lily what are you talking about, nobody's been hurt because of you."

"Yes they have Remus. Did you notice that I was barely in classes this week? Have you wondered why I don't let anyone get to close to me?"

"Lily where were you this week?"

"I was at St. Mungos. Dumbledore let me miss a few of my classes to go there."

"Why were you at St. Mungos?"

Lily felt tears roll down her face. She had to tell him, he already knew so much, so she told him. "My parents are in the intensive care unit. Some Death Eaters attacked them, but some Aurors interfered. They were hurt really badly and the healers aren't sure if they'll make it."

Remus pulled Lily into a hug and held her as she cried. "Is that what McGonagall had to talk to you about during potions."

"Yes. I knew that it would happen sooner or later, not even the Aurors could protect them."

"Lily, who else has been hurt?"

Lily looked into to Remus's eyes. He looked worried but he looked curious also.

Lily sighed and said, "Right before the end of summer break, my grandparents and my aunt were killed, by death eaters."

"Why is Voldemort after your family?"

"Their not after my family Remus, Voldemort is after me. Haven't you noticed that I haven't been outside the castle since the beginning of school. My curfew is an hour before everybody else's. Teachers are always following me around."

"Why would Voldemort be after you, there are plenty of other people he hates."

"Dumbledore told me that there was a prophecy made about me, and Voldemort knows it includes him, he thinks killing me will make the prophecy false. He's killing my family thinking that I'll give up hope and just let him kill me."

"Lily you can't let Voldemort kill you. Is that why you won't let yourself love anyone, including James."

"Yea, I can't let anyone else die because of me, I can barley live with myself right now."

"Lily, James won't care about Voldemort, he can protect himself and you."

"Not against him he can't, if James died because of me I would never be happy again.

"But you're not happy now. Being with James would make you happy."

"I can't let anyone else get hurt. Please don't tell anyone that I've told you."

"But…"

"No one," She told him.

Remus and Lily were quiet. Someone walked into the common room and they both turned around. It was Professor McGonagall.

"Lily, I'm glad I found you, Professor Dumbledore needs to speak to you."

"Okay," she got and walked toward her but turned around and said to Remus, "Don't tell anyone."

When Lily was walking to Dumbledore's office she felt as if someone was behind her, she turned around but couldn't see anyone. She got to his office and went up the stairs to his office.

"Lily, sit down, I have some news about your parents." Dumbledore told her.

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Will it be good news or bad? I'll try to update soon! Reviews will make it happen faster! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, i would not be writing fanfictions

Author's note: I have changed the rating, though nothing to drastic. This will not be the last chapter there will be maybe 2 or 3 more. Hope you enjoy! or and sorry that I haven't updated in a while...

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James POV

James followed Remus down the stairs into the common room. When they walked into the common room James immediately noticed Lily sitting by herself by the fire. She was reading and the common room was empty. _Perfect thought James, she's all alone, so far the plan is working great._

Remus sat down next to Lily and James sat by then in an armchair. Lily looked up, and James could tell that she had been crying. _If Snape or Malfoy did anything to make her cry, I will personally make their lives a living hell. _

"Hi, Lily" Remus said.

"Oh, hi Remus" Lily said.

"Listen, Lily can we talk?" James heard Remus ask.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked.

"I want to talk about you."

"Umm, okay what do you want to know?" When Lily said this James could tell that Lily was nervous. _What is she so afraid of Remus asking about?_

"Lily, you know you can trust me. I care about you. Can you please tell me what's going on? And don't tell me nothing, because something is happening." _Remus you're supposed to find out why she doesn't like me._ James wanted to say something, but he stayed silent.

James heard Lily sigh and then she said, "What do you want to know?"

"Why won't you go out with James?" Remus asked. _Now were getting somewhere._

"I will not go out with Potter because he is a big-headed, prat." _James was taken aback. He thought she was going to say something different than that._

"That's a lie Lily, and you know it. I see how you look at him when he not looking. Just for a moment you eyes say otherwise. You like him; I know you do so tell me the real reason." Remus said. James was shocked. He had to idea that Lily looked at him when he wasn't looking. James couldn't help but smile when he heard what Remus had said.

"Remus, if I tell you everything, will you promise not to tell anyone. I trust you, so please don't tell anyone. Especially not James." _Now this is gonna be good._

James saw Remus ponder the thought. James knew that he hated to betray Lily's trust but he said alright anyways.

James listened as Lily told her story. James finally learned why Lily let barley anybody get close to her. He saw as Lily started to cry, and he had to hold himself back, so that he wouldn't go up to her and hold her. But James was so happy that Lily did actually love him back, though he knew that he would have a tough time getting her to admit it.

When Lily was finished telling her story, Professor McGonagall walked into the common room. "Lily, I'm glad I found you, Professor Dumbledore needs to speak to you."

As Lily walked out of the common room she said to Remus, "Don't tell anyone."

James decided that he was going to follow Lily. He followed her and McGonagall to Dumbldore's office. When they arrived James stood against the wall.

"Lily, sit down, I have some news about your parents." Dumbledore told Lily.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you, but your parents passed away about twenty minutes ago, there was nothing the healers could do to help them.

James watched as Lily turned and ran.

"Well, follow her James." James took off after her, not even asking how Dumbledore knew he was there.

James saw her running to the Gryffindor tower. He caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist. She let out a shriek and James took the cloak off.

"Lily, it's okay, it's me James." He turned her around and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

James pulled Lily into a hug, and let her cry.

After a while they were sitting on the floor, James holding Lily and Lily clinging to him. _I would be happy right now, only if I could make her stop crying. _

When James noticed that Lily had stopped he looked down and realized she had fell asleep. He picked her up and carried her to the common room.

_I can't get up the girls stairs without my wand, and I don't want to wake her, so I guess she's coming with me._

James carried her up to his dorm and laid her on his bed. He crawled in next to her, and put his arm around her. James looked at her one last time and noticed that she had a smile on her face, and then he fell asleep.

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PLEASE REVIEW! Next chapter hopefully later this week! 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing...sigh...

Authors note: I've finally updated! This chapter is a little short, but I didn't have a lot of time to write it so just be happy that its here! Also check out my new story titled The Bet, this is a ron/hermione story, so pleas read it. I think I'm gonna write one more chpater for this story, unless you want more, let me know. If you really ask nicely i may even write a sequel!

Remeber to review!

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Lily awoke to someone saying "Silencio". She then heard the same person mutter, "Here goes nothing." There was a slight pause and then she heard her name. "Lily, Lily it's time to wake up." She rolled onto her back and opened her eyes. James was staring at her.

"How are you?" James asked.

Lily didn't even notice that she was in James' bed. She just closed her eyes. She didn't want to remember. She didn't want to remember that everyone that she loved was dead. She didn't want to remember that she had no family left. But most of all she didn't want to remember that she had finally stopped denying that she didn't love James.

And then she began to wonder, what James was doing in the corridor when he found her. She thought he was up in his dormitory, she could have sworn that he saw him go up but not come back down. It was very late and he was alone so what was he doing. Curiosity got the best of her so she opened her eyes. James was still staring at her.

"What were you thinking about you looked confused?"

"What were you doing when you saw me in the hallway crying?" Lily asked. She heard James sigh. He seemed to be debating whether or not to tell her.

"Do you really want to know?" James asked her.

"Yes," Lily replied.

"Alright but you have to promise that you won't get mad. I did it for your own good."

"Fine." _What could James have done that he wouldn't want me mad at him. And how was it for my own good._

So Lily listened as James told her everything. He began with the marauders noticing something was wrong with her and then ended with how she ended up in his bed. He was watching her the whole time. Lily just sat their not knowing how to react to what he was saying. James finished by saying, "lily, I'm really sorry for spying on you, its just that I was really worried about you and you wouldn't talk to me, so please don't be mad."

Lily put her head in her hands. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me. I wouldn't want anything to do with me if I knew I was marked for death. I'll understand it's okay." She was getting ready to leave when she felt James pull her into a hug.

"I want everything to do with you. I'm in love with you and Voldemort is not going to change that. I'll protect you no matter what."

Lily looked up at him and said, "Really?"

Instead of getting an answer James kissed her.

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PLEASE REVIEW! Also check out my other story!


	8. Chapter 8

Diclaimer: nothing is mine...

Authors note: This is the Last Chapter! Make sure to check out my other story! Maybe I'll write a sequel , if you ask me 2 : )!

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James POV

James awoke from the best dream he had had in a long time. Lily had agreed to go out with him, and they were kissing, that's when James woke up. Lily was next to him. She was in his arms. Last night came back to him. He had kissed Lily, even though she was asleep. He wanted this moment to last forever, but he knew it wouldn't. He had to wake her.

He grabbed his wand and muttered, "silenco" so no one would heat them. Then he mumbled, "Here goes nothing." He shook her and said, "Lily, Lily it's time to wake up." She rolled onto her back and opened her eyes.

"How are you?" James asked. She closed her eyes and didn't respond. He studied her. She looked like she was thinking about something. Curiosity got the best of him so he asked, "What were you thinking about you looked confused?"

Instead of answering she said, "What were you doing when you saw me in the hallway crying?" James sighed, he knew she would have asked him sooner or later. Should he lie to her or tell her the truth. He decided with the truth.

"Do you really want to know?" James asked her.

"Yes," Lily replied.

"Alright but you have to promise that you won't get mad. I did it for your own good."

"Fine." Lily said.

James told Lily everything. She listened not moving or making a sound. When he was done, Lily put her head in her hands. James could tell that she was crying. "I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me. I wouldn't want anything to do with me if I knew I was marked for death. I'll understand it's okay." Lily said to him. James watched as she got ready to leave. Instead of letting her, he pulled her into his arms, and held her.

"I want everything to do with you. I'm in love with you and Voldemort is not going to change that. I'll protect you no matter what." James told her.

Lily looked up at him and said, "Really?"

Instead of getting an answer James kissed her. Surprisingly, she kissed him back.

She broke the kiss for a moment and said, "Thank you James, for helping me realize that someone does love me."

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From then on, James and Lily were a couple. James was very protective of her. The morning after that at breakfast James thought to himself, _This is going to be the best year ever. Who knows what will happen next._

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